Here
you go.
You
don’t deserve it, just so you know.
You
should be begging for it.
No,
thank you.
Now
that you have it, I’m beginning to see how precious
I
am.
Really
though.
If
I don’t stain the grey matter inside your head deep enough,
it’s
time to take myself somewhere else.
I
think it’s too bad that for you, I’m not good enough.
Ouch.
Whey did I do that? Here, let me borrow the knife-I can
cut
myself faster than you can cut me.
But
there-all the dirt is out. Just me, tearing that last skin
off
for you to see me wrapped in what imaginary protection I have left.
Why
are so you strange?
Hmmm…I’ve
never wanted to curse in a poem before…
What
now? It’s foolish to hope anything different.
I
hope your heart explodes so fast that all of this goes away.
I
hope the heavens send me someone that’s good for me, for once.
that
I can be good to.
What
if I cork all those holes with cement?
My
heart will be ugly.
What
if people look at me and say,
What
if they don’t say? Or think? twice.
I
can feel myself closing. I think I’ll just stay that way.
It’s
lonely in here.
Please
send me someone who cares enough to open me up.
Olivia Madsen
May 8, 2013
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